whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
