You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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