maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
