Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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