so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
