dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
dude. I can hear the air.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
