Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nicole vs. Life
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize