I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
