so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
