how can u be prego again
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
