We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
