VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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