a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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