so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
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I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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