I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am midnight drunk by noon
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
