you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just want to make out with him forever
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
