Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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