Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize