you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
