were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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