puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
