I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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