there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
