dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
