Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
