If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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