I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
