Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
