literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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