I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
