I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
