Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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