Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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