i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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