You made me cry and you don't even care
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
