He uses pillows to masturbate.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
