after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
