Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
