soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
