so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
