Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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