I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
