it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
