she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
