Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
