when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
