I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The air was thick with penises
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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