problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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