All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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