It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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