My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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