I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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