It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
