I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
