Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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