That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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