I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dignity is for republicans.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
