it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
