Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
