I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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