Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
