is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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