STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
