oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
