Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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